McKinley Post

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Lies my Mother Tells

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Milk & Whiskey

We may have touched on this a time or two, but my mom is a goddamned liar. I mean that in the nicest way possible, but that lady can tell a whopper before she even realizes she’s talking.

My husband knows this better than most.

I will accost him with some new and interesting piece of information like, “Hey, Did you know that pine nuts actually come from inside pine cones? That pine tree in our backyard is lousy with pine nuts. I can make pesto! From our TREE!”

To which my husband will reply, “Did your mother tell you that? Because you know she lies.”

Every. Single. Time. And he’s right, gallingly enough (though not about the tree. I got that shit from a book).

When mom was in school, she told a handful of people that her sister had a metal plate in her head. There had been a terrible accident…

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